The Five Towns Vaad, Bagel Boss and messing with the fressin'

This weekend reinvigorated a major debate/fight that took place in the Five Towns over the last few years (which included the now SuperStore Gourmet Glatt). To quickly review, Bagel Boss Cafe in Hewlett is currently not under the supervision of the Five Towns Vaad. Almost unanimously, all Orthodox Synagogues in the area have advised their congregants to not RELY on any Hashgachah for anyone outside the Vaad. Very simply, if you want to come into the area as a food establishment and you want the endorsement of the local Orthodox Rabbi's, use the Vaad. In other world, don't go to Bagle Boss.
In a perfect world (or even the imperfect world we live in) this means, no matter how Chassidish, Mizrachi, Modern Orthodox, Yeshivish, etc you are (or pretend to be), you can trust the food anywhere. For anyone who lives in areas where this isn't the case, knows this is an incredible Chiddush. People who live in per say Brooklyn need a GPS to navigate through which of the butchers, restaurants, food stores, etc where they can shop.
Now, recently Rabbi Billet, Head Rabbi of the Young Israel of Woodmere, the largest YI in the world sent out the following email:

Dear Members

There are several stores (Bagel Boss and Dunkin Donuts near the Hewlett Station) that display Kashrut certificates from a Rabbi Asher Schechter. The only stores in our neighborhood that serve baked or cooked items made in house or by a company like Dunkin Donuts (which is a mostly non kosher chain) whose Kashrut standards are recommended are stores under the Vaad HaKashrut of the Five Towns.

Local non Vaad supermarkets who bake in house (like Costco) can be relied upon if their products carry a recognized national hechsher like the OU, KOF K, OK, STAR K etc.

RHB

This created an uproar amongst the various factions (those pro the Vaad and those anti). Those pro use the solid arguments of not going against the klal and listening to you're Rav as their basis. Plus, the Vaad is a respected organization and respected by ALL sides of the Orthodox spectrum. The sides against use the basic argument of free enterprise and competition and keeping checks and balances in the system. They also use the argument of cost and how small establishments should be able to use other reliable and cheaper option. In the case of Bagel Boss, since they have many stores and they use the same certification on all (which from all I've heard is extremely reliable) why pay a double tax.
Either way, I have heard extremely valid arguments on both sides of the fence. I am not here to argue either side. I'm just a simple yid who doesn't qualify to argue on extremely sensitive and important halachac issues. I trust my Rav enough to do this for me and make these judgments. If i didn't, I would go someplace where I could.
What I'm here to do is expose the underlying issue here:. It's what people are failing to notice; it is also at the core of the major problem in Orthodox Jewry today. The problem isnt whether or not people care about some poor guy who cant afford a Hashgachah (although there are some altruistic people that do, in general most couldn't care less). It's not about whether or not they really could give a rats toochas if the Vaad had a check and balance. Believe me, if Bagle Boss weren't that good we wouldn't have heard a peep (for the record I have eaten at many Bagel Boss's but never at the one in Hewlett and wont until it is approved by my Rav). It's simply about someone telling someone else, what he can and can not do when it comes to his Taaivadick (new word perhaps), narcissistic, gluttonous lifestyle. For G-d's sake, no one is going to tell Mr. Schwartz where he can or cant eat a bagel. No sir. When these guys are discussing the Vaad and the controls of their local Orthodox Rabbi's at some fancy (treif) sushi bar in the city or some local Italian Restaurant treif- but they only eat the pasta, or even the local diner over eggs and coffee, it has nothing to do with the poor guys ability to pay the Vaad. It's about his narcissistic urges being fulfilled. You see that is what this is about and that is the root of many if not all our problems.
Sure, it's great to have a friendly Rabbi who will say a nice speech at little Tyler's Bar Mitzvah or Kimberly's Shalom Bat, or even give you a Gut Shabbos (or Shabbat Shalom) after you strolled in during Mussaf, but heaven forbid he should give you religious advise or direction (unless of course it's to help poor Tyler with his drug problem in 10th grade and trying to figure out which Yeshiva will still take the poor soul).
The problem is we live in a "me first" society and that includes G-d. Sure, I'll pray to G-d during the times that I choose to and when I need him (you know, like so I can have more money to fill my selfish life). That means, Shacharis starts when I show up. It means davening 3 times a day is optional and only if doesn't interfere with real things-like work or kiddush club. It means, if I want to talk in shul, the nagging Gabbai/ Shammash- who is trying so hard to keep the Bais Medrash a Makom Kedushah- should mind his own business. It means if the restaurant I want to go is the "in place", I'll go and eat (only of course if it's Sushi or Dairy, I would never eat meat out, heaven forbid).
It also means why we have so many kids these days who are apathetic to Yiddishkeit. In my day, the kids that were apathetic were the kids smoking weed, drinking and engaging in other various forms of questionable halachic activities. The "good" kids were frum. Today, not so. Why? Very simply, when you get picked up for Yeshiva at 7:30 AM and don't come home until two-three hours after your the kid next door who goes to the local #6 school, and all you learn about is how important learning, davening, middos (or Midot) and Avodos Hashem is, and then as soon as you go home and ask your dad why he only wears a kippah while eating and going to shul (if that much) and why it takes him 6 minutes to daven in the morning (it at all) and that includes putting on and off his tallis and tefilin, and why when he went to Moishe's house he found out that there actually is Shacharis on Shabbos and not just Mussaf, etc. etc.
Kids are extremely smart and perceptive. If they see the whole thing as some hypocritical game, they treat it as such. They understand their parents pray to G-d when they need things, like a new Lexus or an additional floor to our house. But they don't really need to serve G-d. That's old fashioned.

The bottom line is when we argue to eat in these places and argue against our Rabbincal leaders (by the way, I believe 100% that if you do have an issue with a ruling or Psak you should talk to your Rav. But do it in a nice, discreet, private fashion that allows for the kavod of the situation and the Rav. Don't just blab it to your friends while during mussaf) are we doing eat because we just want to fill our own gluttonous needs or not?