Inspired by my hero,
ESPN's The Sports Guy, I decided to take his
Cheer's vs. Seinfeld argument to the next level (a work of journalistic genius). I am going to try and leap tall buildings in a single bound. Climb Mt. Everest with a bottle of
Poland Spring and some trail mix. Take on
Tom Brady and the
Greatest Offense in National Football League History with a washed up
Michael Strahan and some
spare parts. Ummm, scratch that. Tom Coughlin did that first.
Where we are going is where no man has gone before. To a galaxy FAR FAR AWAY. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's..................The Top 11 Greatest Sitcom Characters of All Time .
With respect to the G.O.A.T. of sports talk radio, we're gonna kick this off,
Mike and the Mad Dog Dog style.........
"ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND, Good afternoon everybotttttttttttty. Mike and the Mad Dog live from TPC Memoral Stadium, we're going to give you................The TEN BEST SITCOM CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Dog (in a much too subdued Francessa voice) that's exactly what we're gonna do today. We're gonna bring in the
Seinfelds, the
Cheers, the
Taxi's, some surprises that
Gelb's gonna get us. It's gonna be a great show"
"Mikey, I can't even control myself. This is even bigger than Giants Baseball and Arod blowing it again against the 'Sox. Mikey, you don't get bigger than this".
"Dog, you got the
Seinfeld crew. Quite possibly the greatest squad, top to bottom of all time. You got
"Cheers", you know,
Norm,
Sammy, hmmm, who can leave out
Clavin", you got stuff like "
Good Times", "
The Honeymooners", Ya Got.
"Mikey, funny you go there with the "
Honeymooners", you got some hummmina hummina working over there for you! HAHHAHAHHHAAA Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BABY!"
With that intro, and respects to J.J. Evans, Mr. Woodman, George Jefferson, Al Bundy, Screech and of course the Big Ragu , in no particular order.............
(ED NOTE: Click on the names of the Characters for some great clips)
Alex P. Keaton- The quintessential Young Republican, born to two former hippies, now Super liberals, Alex defined a generation that moved from the liberal 70's to the Reaganomics of the 80's.
Archie Bunker- Archie was the guy everyone knew growing up in their neighborhood. Bigoted, hard working, hilarious, and deep down a really good guy. His conservative values battling against his son in laws (Rob Reiner's "Meathead") were classic television battles.
Vinny Barbarino- "What?" "Where?" "Why?" Who knew the Head of the Sweathogs would become such a freaked out Scientologist?Jim Ignatowski- Before there was a Michael Jordan, there was Dr. J. Before there was Guns and Roses there was Led Zep. And before there was a Kramer, there was the Reverend Jim. Maybe the greatest comedic scene of all time took place when the Reverend was taking his drivers test "What does a yellow light mean" "Slow down" "Ah, oka. Whaaaaaaaaat doooooooes a yellooow light meaaaaaan".Norm Peterson- Quite simply, the creator of the greatest entry in TV history. One such example. "Norm, how's the world treating you". "It's a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear". Also the title of the Greatest Beer Drinker in TV History.
Sam Malone- Sammy, despite being a former Red Sox pitcher, was the most complex character on the second best show of all time, Cheers, despite his seemingly shallow exterior. Second only to the Fonz as TV's greatest ladies man, Sammy conquered all.
Arthur Fonzerelli- Anyone who grew up in the 70's, and I mean anyone, wanted to be like The Fonz. Everyone wanted to wear a a black leather jacket over his T Shirt and jeans, put their thumbs up and say "Aaaaay". The Fonz just snapped his fingers and the chicks came a running, knocked on the jukebox and the music started playing (ever wonder why Arnold never got upset that The Fonz played the jukebox all those years for free?). Interesting that he started off as a bit character on Happy Days and became it's leading character just a short time in.
Cosmo Kramer- " all right the cat is meeoooow out of the bag. I'm Cosmo Kramer and that's who I'm going to be". Much like Jordan to his Dr. J, Kramer took the zany character that the Reverend Jim created and took it to the next level. Kramer's entrances were classic in that Kramer used pure body movements and wacky sounds to create great comedy.
Ralph Kramden- TV's first great sitcom character, the great Kramden has stood the test of some fifty years and is just as funny today as he was when it all began in 1955. The classic blue collar worker trying to get ahead in post war America, Kramden pulled out all the stops and became one of American Pop culture's most recognized characters. "Baby, your the greatest".
Dr. Frasier Crane- Frasier was the longest running successful character in sitcom history. Starting off as a bit character on Cheers, when Diane left him at the alter, Dr. Crane developed into one of TV's greatest characters. Frasier's constant attempts at breaking in to Upper Class Society was the definition of his character.
George Costanza- The G.O.A.T. of sitcom characters, bar none. George took an unemployed (until he did the opposite) bald man who lived with is parents to unprecedented heights. The key to the G.O.A.T. of TV Sitcoms, George 's demented character was the definition of great comedy. Being I'm not in the mood to get into George in greater detail......."Now you listen to me: I want details and I want them right now. I don’t have job , I have no place to go… you’re not in the mood: well you get in the mood"
"No one’s bigger idiot than me". "Every decision I have ever made in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I wanted to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, is it something to wear, something to eat, it’s all been wrong".
"Yeah, I’m a great quitter: it’s one of the few things I do well… I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter… I was raised to give up"
"Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the roommate switch. In the middle ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it"
"Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?"
"I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive."
Yes George, you might be all those things. You're also the greatest sitcom character of all time.